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Tell Me That It's There

by Tyler Taylor

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1.
If she asks then you can tell her I've been doing just fine Tell her she was right, things got a whole lot better with time If she asks then you can tell her that I almost called last Christmas Eve Tell her what she needs to hear, what she needs to believe Tell her I'm eating well and working out and making lots of cash Important people know my name, my star is rising fast If she asks then you can tell her I'm doing okay But please don't tell her that I told you what to say Please don't tell her that I told you what to say If she asks then please don't tell her about the night I got too high The scene I made and the blood I sprayed before the ambulance arrived If she asks then please don't mention the other girls who come and go But also please don't tell her of all the nights I spend alone Don't tell her my medication's been chewing through my brain Weak wisps of whispered requiems are all that remain Please don't tell her that I tried to sell her, piece by pretty piece Memories chopped to verses sung between clenched teeth If she asks if I forgive her, remind her I never once blinked first And anyway my secret crimes were at least ten times worse If she asks if I recall the feel of her rising, falling chest Then tell her I hope she's happy, and I wish her all the best Go ahead and remind her of all the other things that I've forgot But tell her I still remember what a precious thing we lost Tell her I still remember what we lost What a precious thing we lost If you're still with her in the morning and her smile seems repaired Don't you tell me what it looks like, just tell me that it's there If you're still with her in the morning and her smile seems repaired Don't tell me what it looks like, just tell me that it's there Don't tell me what it looks like, just tell me that it's there
2.
You may be a heartbreaker But that's not enough of a deal-breaker To give up on our hundred acres And our palace in the hills You can still be a troublemaker But why not a risk-taker Don't have to put our love on paper If that's what's giving you the chills What I'm trying to say is we've got nothing left to lose I'll choose to forget you left me battered and bruised My heart's still confused, boozed and abused But I've got room on my body for a few more tattoos Excuse me if I don't see it from your jaded point of view I don't mean to be rude, don't mean to intrude But despite what you assume or pretend to presume Just cause we're screwed up that don't mean that we're screwed This city's gotten weird Ever since you disappeared Seems like what I feared Is rising up with a sneer This glass is all smeared But I still trust my ears And I hear that the end may be near But not the kind that you think When they've lit the fuse and the apocalypse blooms When the earth seals her womb, the dead climb from their tombs The whole world's come unglued but I've built this canoe And I'll follow this river till it leads me to you Your memory imbues me with the strength to get through I'll float through these ruins and shadowy plumes Past crippled survivors scrounging for food Black fire consumes all the lies we construed What I'm trying to say is we've got nothing left to lose We'll settle our feud as history concludes The sky's lost its blue, it's got a new kind of hue We'll hold on to each other and enjoy the view
3.
Caffeine, nicotine, and amphetamine are gonna help me write this song Bob Dylan, if he's willing, will be filling in the blanks and killing the rhymes that ring wrong I've got enough mistakes and heartbreaks to fill the waters of Acheron But Bob, he assures me, there's only six more hours till the dawn Betrayed by a beautiful Benedict, battered by a bitter ballerina Reeled in by remarkable rhetoric, duped by a delicate demeanor She dropped me like a derelict, then asked why I don't correspond Why's she asking now, there's only five more hours till the dawn I waited for what seemed like centuries to say in a gentle tone, "I forgive you, I love you, I've missed you, you're home." I don't know if she was still too close or too far gone and moving on I try to keep my mind open these last four hours till the dawn Now these dark-eyed mystics with their ruby-red lipstick in thigh-high hose and rings on their toes Whisper sexy cryptic secrets I never wanted to know Is the ending already written, the conclusion already foregone? One of them says she'll help me through these three last hours till the dawn This certain sybil swears she'll settle all my ails And like a fairy tale she'll lead me right back to the trail She says she don't expect me to switch into some sweet swanky swimming swan So I'll make sure we make the most of these last two hours till the dawn I sleep in the aquarium, I get high in the planetarium My mistakes, I bury them; my burdens, I carry them If I could chant an ancient spell or wave my magic wand I'd rewind the clocks and make it more than one more hour till the dawn Caffeine, nicotine, and amphetamines helped me write this song I've been wide awake all night but this morning light feels kind of wrong I try to stand up and look around but I'm not yet that strong I fall back in bed and whisper, "Only twenty-four more hours till the dawn" Betrayed by a beautiful Benedict, battered by a bitter ballerina Battered by a bitter ballerina, battered by a bitter ballerina I don't know if she was still too close or too far gone and moving on But she dropped me like a derelict and then asked why oh why I don't correspond I don't correspond
4.
Come To Life 03:51
You're hungry and you're thirsty But you're breathing on your own Waiting for a name Waiting for a home You were buried in the backyard But you crawled out on your own Almost fully formed Almost fully grown And waiting for a name Light or air or medicine Tell me what you need I swear that I don't even mind If you feed off my other dreams I thought I only dreamed you It was so long ago I'm sorry, but please don't leave me All alone Oh come to life Keep breathing in and out Keep breathing in and out Keep breathing in and out Keep breathing in and out... And stay alive
5.
Indiana Jones (free) 04:23
We'll hide in Sherwood Forest And fashion bows and arrows Then we'll ride our brontosaurus And fight the fascist pharaoh We can search for buried treasure Look for UFOs If you be Princess Leia Then I'll be Indiana Jones We don't have to act like grownups Just cause we're getting old Our souls are begging To go out and play We'll shine like diamonds Be brave and bold Let our instincts Point the way The card sharks will fold Before the hand is even dealt Oz will be made whole again The wicked witch will melt We'll swing through Gotham City Capture all the ghosts Then we'll sing a little ditty Drive down to the coast We don't have to act like grownups Just cause we're getting old Our souls are begging To go out and play We'll shine like diamonds Be brave and bold Let's go over the top Let's get carried away We can search for buried treasure Look for UFOs If you be Princess Leia Then I'll be Indiana Jones We're gonna rise up from our tombs We're gonna fly up to the moon Our time is coming pretty soon In the starlight we just might be alright We're gonna rise up from our tombs We're gonna fly up to the far side of the moon Our time is coming pretty soon It's a good night for the good fight We just might escape this temple of doom
6.
If you keep sitting there so pretty Keep crossing your legs like that I'm gonna say something shitty I'll come to regret But what do you have to lose Besides some dignity and some cheap-ass booze If we're gonna have a conversation Let's have it soon Cause all I want is you Sooner or later You'll fall for my tricks Cause I'm just an asshole And you're just a chick Hey, I'm sorry Sorry it came out that way I couldn't let our friends hear I couldn't let our friends hear I couldn't let our friends hear What I really want to say You're a woman I'm a raging prick Sooner or later I'm gonna make you sick You do more to me Than I'd like to admit My knees buckle My lips spit out shit When your body quivers With that sultry grace I shiver When I see your face I'm still not conveying what's in my head Afraid of what you'd do What you'd do if I said, "Watch out, I'm falling for you I'm the kind of guy who breaks when I hit the ground So watch out, I'm falling for you Could I trouble you to catch me on my way down On my way down On my way down On my way down" I'm the kind of guy who breaks when I hit the ground Could I trouble you to catch me on my way down Could I trouble you to catch me Could I trouble you to catch me On my way down
7.
Bridge 03:43
I go downstairs with my brother and sister To bring up some Cokes and pick out a game Dad's made a fire, Mom's rocking back and forth Reading a book, warmed by the flames She looks up and smiles when she sees what we picked She's made us a feast of our favorite snacks, chips and dip As we play, an old Hitchcock movie's playing on the screen above us And above that we're watched over by those we've lost who still love us My family falls asleep by the fire all around me The black and white ghosts smile and surround me Please stay with me Hold me up Hold me up In the summer we pack up the car and head west Drive for days and days, offset by sweet motel rest We get to the mountains, we've come here to play My heart and my hands know I"ll live here someday Mom and Dad make a picnic, watch their sons and their daughter Talk about cougars and bears, skip stones across the water We stay in a lodge in the national park Drive around, look for animals just before it gets dark These pictures flash for a moment Then they disappear again I forget where I came from And I sink back into sin They say the mountains are fountains for men So I'm shouting from the cliff-tops till the words flow from my pen They say the mountains are fountains for men So I'm shouting from the cliff-tops till I remember myself again I'm gonna find me a woman who dreams the same as me Both apocalyptic sunsets and family picnics by the sea This time we'll be forever, this time I'll make it last We'll make ourselves a future by falling for our pasts This is not a song about innocence lost It's just about a bridge I'm halfway across
8.
The Roof 05:12
You wake up in the morning to a sad commute But the route's familiar and you're resolute And your compact discs keep you brave You've got a lot of meaningless work to produce There are people at the office you'd like to shoot Maybe my smile makes it a little less gray I must confess you look too damn cute In your bright blue dress and your big black boots So excuse me if I'm a little aloof I'm just trying to find the right words to say Let's go up to the roof We've got some truths to deduce And some lips to let loose In your business, swimming, workout or birthday suit Let's stop wasting time, it's getting late We're fire, water, fool, and bullet proof But under our clothes we keep parachutes In case we may need to escape We're bigger than the bruises, and taboos, and the booze Let's refuse to abuse the clues that ring true Let's use this new view to lose these overdue blues If we trust each other we might just pull through Let's go up to the roof Deduce some truths, let our hair hang loose The sky is bright and the night feels right At this height We don't need no excuse If we bury our fears and hold on tight In the morning light we might take flight Cause we're fire, water, fool, and bullet proof I don't think we'll need these parachutes tonight We're not gonna need these parachutes tonight No, we're not gonna need these parachutes We don't need no parachutes...
9.
Dance 05:09
Breathe breathe in and out You've got to dance dance, twirl about You've got to move Move to prove you've got nothing to lose You've got to shake shake shake the past Make make make it last Drink it, chug it down, pound it down Touch it, kiss it, spin it around Do we exist just once or are we infinite? Is it life or death that don't mean shit? Get lit up, twist and shout, snort shit up, then sort it out The world's too big or it's way too small Everything means everything or nothing at all You've got scars from love, but stardust in your blood You know the last name you were given, but I know your true one Everything you think of doing's already been done This is our ten thousandth trip around the sun When we're entwined once more down on the shore It's easy to remember that we've been here before We count new rings of planets instead of rings of trees We set our clocks by sensing the subtle shifts of the sea Breathe breathe, dance and dance Chalk our coincidences up to chance Move move Keep on moving till you hit the wall Shake shake shake the past Make make this time last The world's too big or it's way too small Everything means everything or nothing at all You've got to perfect the disconnect you helped them architect No time to reflect about when you next expect to resurrect Wait till you return to the real world to decide what's right or wrong Don't you worry about anything while you're wrapped up in this song You know the name you were given, but not the one you've always used Till your toes curl in the surf, and your ancient eyes see right through To when our souls were young and the world was new We had eons to decide who to be and what to do The last time we stood on this sand I was a rich American businessman You were a courtesan from Afghanistan holding talismans in the palm of your hand You moved into my palace on an island off the Yucatan This time around you've gotta trust me, I'm doing the best that I can So dance dance dance Dance dance dance We had a palace off the Yucatan A palace off the Yucatan A palace off the Yucatan A palace off the Yucatan Please be patient, I'm doing the best that I can Please be patient, I'm doing the best that I can I'm doing the best that I can I'm doing the best that I can
10.
We could climb magic beanstalks if you want Or just sit around and talk We could slay all those monsters on our block Or we could learn how to stand before we walk You're a sweetheartbreaker You won't believe this glass slipper will fit You've got more suitors than you'd like to admit While you sleep soldiers circle you and raise their fists To make sure I don't wake you with a kiss We were too high up on those beanstalks To see all the magic that we'd lost I'm still awake and alone and it's four o'clock Should have learned how to stand before we walked Should have learned how to stand before we Walked Away
11.
Summer 03:17
Okay, all these words that I say Are weighed down with cliches and they rhyme the same way I've been in a crazy dazed haze for the past couple days Afraid of what I won't convey before these memories fade Can't claim my bed's been made since the last time you stayed Some days my brain can't contain the rainy thoughts I entertain But the giddy games that we played, the paper planes that we made Make it easy to explain why I smile when I say your name If you feel the same as me when you look me in the eyes Let's devise a compromise so these feelings never die All kinds of surprises could be waiting down the line If we decide to keep our minds off what's between each others' thighs We'll never have to deny We were always best Always best When we were high You probably had a little mollie on that San Francisco trolley Some cocaine on the brain the last time that you called me I smoke cigs and eat pills when I feel like I'm falling Neither of us has any reason to be sorry Time flies by us snorting science in the stall We stumble down the hall, kiss hard against the wall Then we climb back up to the roof And watch the stars fall We were undercover lovers We were never discovered But sometimes I wonder What would have happened If someone pulled back the covers Would you shudder and mutter about being smothered What I stutter another unforgivable blunder Or would our hearts flutter And hold on even closer to each other? It was a hell of a summer I shift my focus from your sexy hipster lips And the way my fingertips gripped your slippery hips Cause I'm ill-equipped to see the pieces that don't fit And I swear if I slip it'll only be for a little bit I won't try to steer us clear of our respective directions I'll protect what's left of our affectionate connection I don't expect our lives to keep on intersecting So just know I've got your back wherever you're heading Oh, it was a hell of a summer
12.
Summer (alt) 04:05
Okay, all these words that I say Are weighed down with cliches and they rhyme the same way I've been in a crazy dazed haze for the past couple days Afraid of what I won't convey before these memories fade Can't claim my bed's been made since the last time you stayed Some days my brain can't contain the rainy thoughts I entertain But the giddy games that we played, the paper planes that we made Make it easy to explain why I smile when I say your name If you feel the same as me when you look me in the eyes Let's devise a compromise so these feelings never die All kinds of surprises could be waiting down the line If we decide to keep our minds off what's between each others' thighs We'll never have to deny We were always best Always best When we were high You probably had a little mollie on that San Francisco trolley Some cocaine on the brain the last time that you called me I smoke cigs and eat pills when I feel like I'm falling Neither of us has any reason to be sorry Time flies by us snorting science in the stall We stumble down the hall, kiss hard against the wall Then we climb back up to the roof And watch the stars fall We were undercover lovers We were never discovered But sometimes I wonder What would have happened If someone pulled back the covers Would you shudder and mutter about being smothered What I stutter another unforgivable blunder Or would our hearts flutter And hold on even closer to each other? It was a hell of a summer I shift my focus from your sexy hipster lips And the way my fingertips gripped your slippery hips Cause I'm ill-equipped to see the pieces that don't fit And I swear if I slip it'll only be for a little bit I won't try to steer us clear of our respective directions I'll protect what's left of our affectionate connection I don't expect our lives to keep on intersecting So just know I've got your back wherever you're heading Oh, it was a hell of a summer
13.
Sing Anymore 02:38
You're never gonna stop You're never gonna see You're never gonna believe That there's nothing left of me You're never gonna stop And all that I'm saying Is you're down on your knees But you don't look like you're praying But it doesn't really sting anymore And I can't feel a thing anymore I don't want to sing anymore You can have my four-leaf clover You can squeeze it in your fist You can turn over and over My medallion of St. Chris You can have all my karma You can have my shooting star I probably should have warned you That I'd keep playing your guitar I can't feel a thing anymore I don't want to sing anymore I don't want to sing anymore

about

I put together two albums (this one and "Rescue What You Can") which are essentially compilations of a lot of the songs I wrote between 2006 and 2011, before forming The Amends with Drew, Chris, and Shay. I really love a lot of these songs, despite the varying levels in quality of recording and singing. None of these songs were professionally recorded-- it was generally just me, my laptop (using Audacity and M-Audio), and a variety of instruments. In many ways, these represent me learning how to be a songwriter (if that's what I am now). A good chunk of the early ones are about a particular breakup, which actually was the catalyst for learning how to create songs-- as unbearably emo as that may sound. If you listen to The Amends, you may recognize some shared DNA in a few of these.

If you download the whole album, there are also three bonus tracks-- the first version of The Amends' "Hey Regina", an acoustic version of "Sooner Or Later", and The Amends playing Sweetheartbreaker at an early show.

Brief notes on some songs:

"Tell Me That It's There" is probably my favorite of the breakup songs. It was one of the last ones I wrote, and I think it summarizes everything else.

"I Don't Correspond" is easily my biggest Dylan rip-off.

"Indiana Jones" is my favorite song of the bunch, for obvious reasons.

"Dance" isn't really the version The Amends play, but this is where it originated. You may recognize the riff and the general structure, but everything else is pretty different-- especially considering that this one is about reincarnation recall.

We played "Sweetheartbreaker" as The Amends fairly regularly when we first started, but we never recorded it. If you download the whole album, there's a bonus track a version of us playing it live.

credits

released May 20, 2012

All songs written, performed, sung (fairly weakly), and recorded (fairly shoddily) by Tyler Taylor, except for "Indiana Jones", whose end-section is based off "The Indiana Jones Theme" by John Williams.

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Tyler Taylor Boulder, Colorado

Hi, I'm Tyler. You may know me from my band, The Amends. I'm pretty sure you must if you've found your way here. I made this site so that I could have a place to quietly share my older songs (ones I mostly wrote before founding The Amends with Drew) with anyone who's interested. I recorded and played these myself, so forgive the varying sound quality. All songs are technically free. ... more

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